Oh that social media shit talk!

What a load of crap talk there is on Facebook!

I am who I am, no matter where I am. However, on social media, I speak out, not just a little more, but a lot more than I do in person. Hence, a lot of people who I know only online get a one sided impression of me. Some even accuse me of hypocrisy. Most of the time, these people don't even know me or anyone else they bad-mouth on social media.

And yes, that persistent vegan/liberal/tree-hugger who is always posting applicable memes online is a part of me offline too. At home though, with the people who know me best, unless I'm being insulted, misunderstood or taken advantage of, I'm one of the least outspoken people around.

I will still stand up for what I believe at home, but in a somewhat more politically correct manner than I do online.

My personal relationships are no better or worse than the online relationships with people I've never met in person. They're just different. Therefore, if said internet “homies” and acquaintances are rude to me, I will bite back. On the other hand, if a close, personal friend or family member is rude to me, there is the love factor to consider. So, I may react with a little more decorum and reserve.

Now, some people may say that makes me a fake person. (The fact that my personality intensifies online.) Personally, though, I don't believe there is any such thing as a fake person. What there are though, is a lot of imperfect people in the world, doing the best they can with what they've been handed and generally just trying to wrap their heads around life and interacting with other people in general.

Now, there are a few online friends who have become my close personal friends too, even if I never will meet them in person. That's because we have like interests and agree with each other the majority of the time, which makes for a smoother relationship. You know who you are. These people likely get a feel for “at home me” more than the rest.

But honestly, if you only know my Facebook personality, don't assume you know me completely. You likely haven't had a chance to see my gentle side. I do have one. LOL I don't just preach about living with compassion and rage about/at people who are not compassionate. I actually do try to practice what I preach.

Do I do that? Do I really practice what I preach? Well, most of time, I would say that I do. However, we all know very well that we are human and therefore fallible. And so, all we can do is try our best. All of us. I sincerely believe that every person has a goal to live according to their own personal convictions, whatever they may be. I also believe that none of us will ever 100% attain our own idea of perfection.

So, every once in a while someone who thinks they're very clever tries to “prove” that I'm not perfect and claims that I am “fake” or something of that nature because I don't do absolutely every single thing that I support online. Truth is, just like everyone else, I'm on a continual journey toward achieving my personal goals. I will never be a perfect example of adhering completely to absolutely everything I preach about. That's natural for us mere mortals, I believe.

For instance, I would love to reduce/reuse/recycle absolutely everything I buy, be sure that everything I buy/do/say does absolutely no harm and generally live an absolutely peaceful existence and never get upset with anyone or make a fuss over stupid things. Problem is, that's the impossible dream, isn't it? There are many contributing factors I have no control of. I don't have the time to do everything I'd like to either. And that's a natural part of life too. You learn, you change, you grow and if you're lucky, a few of the things you preach about will eventually become a permanent part of your lifestyle. But, you do have to work at this stuff, no matter who you are. It doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all. That doesn't make you a bad person.

So, just because you or I haven't yet been able to put all the great ideas we come across into practice or achieve all the goals that we know are right and commendable, well, that doesn't mean that we should stop promoting them. Because they're great goals and practices to work toward and adopt.

So, if you only know someone on social media, please don't be so quick to yell, “hypocrite.” In fact, you should really stop calling people fake or hypocritical altogether. Because you don't know how hard they are working toward their goals or even how they live offline. You don't know what is in their heart. And provided that there is genuine and sincere effort involved, that's what really counts, isn't it?

And what else? Well, you should give yourself a break too. Certainly you should be working toward your idea of what you would like to become. However, the fact that you haven't quite gotten there yet, doesn't mean that you shouldn't promote it or talk about it or get excited about it. It doesn't make you a hypocrite to promote doing the right thing that you are doing all wrong. Because it's still the right thing to do, whether you have achieved it or not. Ha! Who knew?

Folks, I really do tire of all the shit talk on social media. We are all human. We are here to build each other up, reach a hand out and basically, make life a little easier for each other. We are here to gently guide others toward a better life. And as long as we keep name calling, categorizing each other, discriminating against each other and putting each other down, we will all fail.

And yes, I do it too. I can be a shit talker when I feel insulted, left out or misunderstood. I'm not waving any outstanding goodwill trophies at the finish line yet. But that doesn't make me a horrible person. It just makes me a human being. I am trying, though. And I'm OK with that. How about you?

Making the grade

 

You know, a lot of my rants never even make it on the blog. No joke. See those flames in the background? They're for real. There are certain things that really make me burn. There is, however, this little thing called discretion. I do have some sense of it, believe it or not.

When it comes to personal issues and things that I'm passionate about, it may take me several drafts to tone down my anger and slow my roll. And sometimes, I just feel way too strongly about things to write a politically correct and non-offensive post at all. Yes, there are subjects that are off limits, even for me.

Now, granted, I have been known to hit that publish button before working out all the bugs. After all, some things just need to be said. But you may be surprised at how much I hold back, even then.

So, what is my point? Well, the thing is that if you're offended by my rants, I can't even imagine how you would feel about my first drafts. They can be quite scathing. You know, it's kind of like when you write that letter to your ex. It takes a few dry runs before you glean out all the anger, doesn't it?

Honestly, I believe most writers go through a similar process. Oh, they may not all drift as far off stream as I do. I never have thought anywhere near that proverbial box. Still, I can almost guarantee that those politically correct writers are holding a few things back for the sake of common courtesy. They can't possibly be that nice. We all have our inner “beasts” to tame after all.

So, what do I hold back? What doesn't make the grade? Well, for instance, in my vegan posts, I don't tell you anywhere near all the outright evil things that are done to other animals. Some of those things are hard enough for me to bear without you having to deal with them too.

Basically, I use just enough shock and awe to get you thinking and do a little of your own research. Besides, I can't possibly teach you everything I know on my pet subjects. I've been researching them every day of my life for over 40 years, after all. That's a lot of information.

Plus, it took me all of those 40 plus years to learn it. Conveying it all to you would likely take the same amount of time. That's time I do not have. Besides, I want you to take your own journey through life at your own pace. TMI can discourage that process.

I'm not here to cause you pain or stress. You don't have to agree with me, obviously. My goal is just to make you think a little deeper and maybe toss that box to one side once in a while. It's so freeing to think on your own and stand up for what you believe is right!

So, there you go. Not everything makes the grade as far as being included in my posts. Kind of scary considering what does, isn't it? Oh, I know that I don't hold back much. Believe me. I even scare myself sometimes. But honestly, if you caught even a glimpse of those first drafts, you'd know that I do try to spare the sensibilities of my readers for the most part.

For the most part....

We are not ALL Rocky Mountain High

If you live in Colorado, you feel me, right? I mean, just because I choose to live here, doesn't mean I get high. I don't. I do, however, get so tired of that silly stereotype! Now, I don't really care what other people do in this respect. I have nothing against pot smokers. In fact, some of the people I'm closest to have been known to imbibe here and there. It's just not that big a deal to me.

Of course, THAT probably does have something to do with living in Colorado. Because we tend to be pretty accepting of other people's differences here. We also understand that whether or not we smoke pot, it's still a benefit to us in the form of tax revenue. We do get that we are lucky to live in a state where, if you so choose, you can smoke a little weed without dire consequences.

And we don't get a case of the giggles or make stupid, stereotypical jokes directed at people who live elsewhere. Because we know how it feels when people think you're someone that you're not.

Now, I admit, I might be the type of person someone would expect to smoke pot. I'm an aging hippie liberal. I think progressively. I don't get stuck in conservative ruts. I think freely and for myself, rather than blindly following traditions. Oh, and I'm a vegan too.

So, ya, I get it. One might assume that I smoke pot. But that's just it. We should never assume anything about anyone.

Folks, just because we live in Colorado, well, that does not mean that we smoke pot. Not only that, but some of us don't even ski or hike or run marathons or even drink Coors! Some of us have never even been to the mountains! Perish the thought!

But it does happen, you know? Not everyone can afford to ski. Not everyone has a vehicle to go to the mountains in. Not everyone is in the kind of shape it takes to run a marathon or hike their happy butt up a mountain, either. Not everyone drinks beer, let alone, Coors.

And not everyone in Colorado smokes pot!

I heard that cousin love is legal in some states. Does that mean everyone there is doing the nasty with their blood relatives? Of course not.

So, knock it off, will you? We're all tired of the unnecessary and highly annoying, suggestive winks and comments. We're grownups here. We understand that not everyone is the same and we give people the freedom to make their own choices. Now, that's something I wouldn't mind being known for.

But I don't smoke pot and I don't appreciate people assuming that I do.

We are not ALL Rocky Mountain High, here in Colorado.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Remember ladies, the wedding is not as important as the relationship.

May your marriage be as long as your bridal train.

I adore my future daughter-in-law. She has her priorities straight. Rather than focusing on a fancy, complicated wedding, she focuses on building a good relationship with my son. I appreciate that so much. Unfortunately, there are those “Bride-zilla” types out there who care more about their big day than the days that follow.

You know the type. They have whole reality shows written with them in mind. And please don't get me wrong. I know that there are many different kinds of people out there. I'm pretty much a “to each his own” person. I just feel like a lot of these girls are so focused on the wedding that they lose sight of the fact that the wedding only lasts a day, while the relationship and the groom will need attention for many years to come.

In other words, it's perfectly OK to have a nice wedding. And it really is your big day so it should be about what makes you and your groom or bride happy. But I feel it's just too easy to get so lost in planning the wedding that you forget that planning a happy, healthy, fulfilled life is more important.

Does it really matter what kind of cake you serve? Is the decor that important? And how about those symbolic rituals? Must they really be followed to the letter?

You know, it's kind of like those couples who get so excited about having a baby that they forget the responsibility that comes with it and that the baby isn't going to be small and cuddly forever. They're going to grow up and they're going to need help to become responsible adults. That takes a lot of work, just like relationships.

So ladies, please, have a beautiful wedding. Just don't forget about the rest. Because you'll be spending a lot more time in your relationship than you will at the altar. It should be your special day, absolutely. Just keep in mind that it's more important to have a special rest of your life and to help make your partner's life just as special.