In the last couple weeks, I have had
the opportunity to watch two kinds of people build fences around
their respective homes. On doing so, I made a couple observations
that I'd like to share with you. Now, let me be clear, I'm not
passing judgment here. And indeed, my own fence building would likely
reveal my own “shortcomings” as it were. Although, in my opinion,
shortcomings are more of an indication of one's location in their
journey, than they are a fault. But that's a story for another time.
So... The most obvious and first
observation I made of the two fences, was the way they were facing.
The owners of house one, faced their fence with the “good” side
toward themselves. While the owners of house two, faced the “good”
side toward their neighbors. I found this very revealing of where
their sympathies rest and how they view the world.
By facing the good side toward
themselves, the first homeowners made it clear that they place
themselves first. Especially since the building code states that the
“good” side should face their neighbors. They were in such a
hurry to put up a barrier from their neighbors that they didn't even
bother to check the rules.
Now, I have to be fair, they needed the
fence so that their dogs would not jump over the existing chain link
fence into their neighbor's yard.
Remember that last bit. You'll see why
later.
And.... back to the fence building
details. It's also much easier, for construction purpose to face the
good side in your own yard. So, this is revealing too. Clearly, doing
things the “right” way was an inconvenience for them. Clearly,
their time frame was more important to them than being polite. This
was also reflected in the fact that they didn't even have the
courtesy to wait for the old homeowners to move out before barging in
on them to construct their fence. As you may have guessed, I was one
of the old homeowners. That's how I know this.
They were in a huge hurry to make the
house their own, which frankly, I completely understood. Because
while they were putting up their fence, we were patiently and
courteously waiting for the former owners of our new house to move on
so that we might begin making our new house ours, just as they were
making our old home theirs.
Now, the very fact that I highly
resented their intrusion, because I was simultaneously being
respectful by not intruding on the former owners of our new home is a
bit revealing of my own character flaws. In other words, I'm not
perfect either.
As you may have noticed, I enjoy
studying human behavior, even my own.
Anyway, eventually we left the
impatient new homeowners behind and moved on to our new home, where,
by coincidence, our new neighbors (previously mentioned as the owners
of house two) are also building a fence, also for the purpose of
keeping their dog from jumping the existing chain link fence.
But our new neighbors are building
their fence very differently.
As I mentioned, first of all, they were
facing the good side toward us and their other neighbors. Which, even
if it wasn't the law, was very respectful. After all, how likely do
you think it is that in a small town with less than 1000 residents,
anyone is going to check the fence to see that it faces the right
way?
Well. I can tell you that in this
particular town, the zoning laws are very loose and there are many,
many people who have ignored them for decades anyway. And ironically
to my delight, they will likely continue to do so for many years to
come. In fact, people here are pretty much free to do things their
way as long as no harm comes to others. Hence, the overall charm of
this town for me.
Our new neighbors chose to be
considerate in their fence construction. They didn't have to. They
also didn't have to take the time to tell us that their dogs jump the
chain link fence and that's why they're building a fence between us.
They especially didn't have to do this on the very first day we moved
in, but they did. They also could have banged up their fence rapidly,
without care and never spoken to us again, but that's not what they
did.
They faced the good side in their
neighbor's direction. They took their time building that fence well.
And instead of just befriending the one neighbor who took the time to
reach out to and assist them, as the first homeowners did, they spoke
to all their neighbors before anyone even had time to inquire about
what they were doing. The fact that they made the first move combined
with the fact that they did the right thing by all their neighbors is
impressive in comparison to the other folks, don't you think?
And the thing is, our new neighbors
still aren't done with their fence. So when we go outside, we wave at
each other. We laugh over the dogs, who still jump the fence
occasionally to play with my grand-daughter's dog. And while we're
watching them build their fence the right way, the careful way, the
courteous way, they're also watching us bring our yard back to life
in a similar manner.
It all feels very small town and we're
loving it. It's such a contrast to the rush and hurry of city life
that we left behind, you know? And there you have the biggest
difference in character between the two sets of homeowners. Two very
different philosophies in play. First there was the “get it done
now, no matter what it takes or who gets in the way and has to be run
over” philosophy. Then there is the “take your time, do it right
and do it with a smile” philosophy.
Ya, I'm going to like it here. It's my
kind of peaceful place.