Talking to myself

Welcome to my world!

You know, folks, a lot of times when I write these random philosophical thoughts down, I'm talking to myself, more than anyone else. No, not just because so few people actually read what I've written. Rather, it's because I'm constantly messing up my life and therefore, constantly working on my character, on paper for all the world to see, should they so choose.

My Dad was big on character.

(Incidentally, he also was a character. Or at least that's how some people might describe him. In addition to having amazing integrity, he was frequently called a stubborn old coot, a penny-pincher and if you were my Mom, well, he was her Herbie, as she referred to him in her poetry.)

Anyway, back to the subject at hand, one of the best things I learned from the actions of my Dad is that good character is not only vital to happiness, it's the most prominent thing that people truly remember you for when you're gone.

So, when I learn a lesson that helps me build my character, or am reminded of it, I write about it so it sticks better. In other words, these little seemingly “preachy” posts and comments I write are nothing of the kind. Rather, they are a form of self discipline/self improvement. Know what I mean?

Folks, please don't be offended when I express my beliefs. Please don't look at my attempts to work out my life on paper as an insult. I'm usually talking more to myself than to anyone else. I'm not a social person. I'm a loner. In other words, it's not about you, it's about me.

No offense intended, but I have enough on my plate and enough of my own mistakes to correct without worrying about yours. That's your department, not mine. I'm not in charge of you. You are in charge of you. And thank goodness for that. I don't have the energy to be a control freak.

Even when I speak of the state of the world and how it could be improved (in my opinion) it's more about me making the changes I wish to see. Although, you're certainly welcome to join me if you agree.

Ha!

And while yes, I would certainly be happy if everyone in the world made more of an effort to live a more compassionate life, I realize that we all have to make our own choices. Following that thought, please also realize that freedom of speech is a two way street. By denying me the right to free expression, regardless of whether you agree with me, you deny yourself as well.

I speak my mind on paper. It's kind of my thing. Thus, the whole writer label. But it's completely up to you whether you listen or agree. Because I really am just talking to myself and/or taking notes. It really isn't directed at you. It's just that my “works” are public, due to the fact that I write for a living.

And sometimes, I direct my thoughts at “you” just like those who keep journals direct their thought to “Dear Diary.” It's nothing personal, folks.

I'm not afraid for people to know my naked inner thought process. We all have one, you know. It's just that not all people think out-loud, without a filter and on paper for all the world to see. So, of course, people get upset. They're not used to raw, unprocessed thoughts.

Look at it like this, it's like you get to read my diary. And I let you. Because honestly, I really don't care if people know the real me, craziness, imperfections and all. Never have particularly fond of presenting a watered down, strained smooth version of myself anyway.

This is who I am. I don't expect anyone to be exactly like me. But please also do not expect me to think like you. Because I'm not you. I'm me. And this is my blog, not yours. Therefore, it reflects my thoughts and opinions, not yours.

It's really written for me. You just get to snoop around in it. Is that cool or what?

Let's talk about that real world, shall we?

I very often hear people talking about how unconventional folks should be living in the “real” world. But exactly how real is that real world? Those of us who are thinking people know, of course, that the real world isn't real at all.

It's a world, a society if you will, that we created for ourselves out of sheer nothingness. It truly does not exist, except in our heads, just like the worlds of those other people we criticize for their lack of conformity do not exist except in their heads.

This is where we pause for thought.

Because how many times in your life and mine have we been critical of someone, simply because they do not fit in this current society and are therefore living happily outside of it? How many times have we told someone to “get real,” “get with the program” or just “deal with it” because that's the way it is and the way it always has been?

But it's not.

It's not the way it always has been, that is. There was a time when humans roamed the earth as free and free thinking individuals, just like other animals would if we let them. True, that time was not perfect either. There were struggles. Huge ones. However, it was indeed very real. It was not based on anyone's idea of a perfect society, it was simply a natural life.

This entity that we call “real” society today is about as far from that first, reality based, more natural way of living as we could possibly get. We've even forgotten that we are animals, natural beings who thrive best in a natural environment. You know? The one we're rapidly destroying?

My point is not that we should go back to that first way of living. That would be impossible, barring being forced into it by massive annihilation. However, what it might be wise to do is to remember that the society we do live in is just as self created as the “fantasy” lives that non-conformists live. The only difference is that conventional society is a widely accepted fantasy life.

Oh.

So maybe the next time you bash or giggle at someone's alternative lifestyle choice, you should remember that you are living an alternative lifestyle as well. Yours is just more popular.

So how about we all get our noses out of the sky and see things for the way they really are? How about we all get in touch with reality? How about we all realize that not everyone finds the “real” world of today to be either real or viable or even sustainable?

It's not, by the way. It's just an epic, mass brainwashing session, created to make life profitable for about 1% of the population. And they're laughing at us right now because we are happily conforming to it, just as they knew we would.

Oh.

I am the 1 in 100,000

By now, you all know that I am one of the not so lucky “one in whatever” to suffer from Lupus. That's not what this is about, though. It does have to do with my doctors and a few other things that I represent the statistical anomaly of, though. 

First, let's talk about meds. I can't take more than one of the normal medications for what I have, no matter what I have. Ya. My body does not like foreign objects and it will let me know that in no uncertain terms.

When it comes to Lupus, so far, I can only take prednisone. When it comes to infections, I can only take penicillin. That's it. Those are the only two prescription medications in my 56 years of life that I have been able to tolerate at all.

My body has rejected 99.9% of the meds I've been given in my life. And yet, somehow, my doctors feel that I'll be perfectly fine taking a medicine that kills one in 100,000 people within the first 24 hours of starting it. Yup. Because, you know, I'm so good at tolerating medicines. Ya. I think it's pretty likely that I'm the 1 in 100,000. Not a stretch there. Just another statistical anomaly.

Me, that is, I am the anomaly.

But hey, there is good news. You see, if I can't afford to kill myself with their medicine, the company that makes it has a program that insures that I can die trying at no cost to me whatsoever. Isn't that fabulous? Can you say, “experimental medicine alert?”

The doctors also felt that it was fine to vaccinate me against the flu and pneumonia, since, you know, I have Lupus and I am at high risk from dying of the flu or pneumonia. Is there a problem? Ya, kind of. Because, as I told them, shots tend to leave me paralyzed, even when I'm healthy. And I'm not healthy. So, guess who spent nearly a year of her life unable to move her arms? Yup. That would be me.

And that whole autism thing? As it turns out, with all the back and forth arguing, it has been determined that there actually is an extremely small percentage of the population impacted by vaccines in the form of autism.

Now, I never knew that was my issue. Neither did my folks. But guess what? When I think back on my childhood, I was high functioning autistic as all get out. For real. So, I spoke to some professionals, took a little pretest and guess what? Yes, I was once again, the one in whatever number. That is, it is very likely that I had autism as a child, and still have some lingering symptoms, according to certain characteristics and behaviors that I exhibited.

And no, I'm not “one of those people.” I don't know with any certainty that the reason I was completely in my own little world with no idea how to relate to the rest of the population (and still am, just to a lesser degree today) was due to vaccinations. But I do know that my Catholic school gave them out like candy canes at Christmas or pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving and that after them, I was always reeling, confused, immobile and disoriented.

Like I said, meds are not my thing.

Now comes my point, of course, which is this. And listen up, people, because: For those of us who are on the losing end of statistics, statistics take on a whole different meaning. Because it's us who suffer, who become paralyzed, who lose touch with the “real” world and yes, it's us who die.

I am the 1 in 100,000. Yup. And I am just as important as you. I am important to my friends. I am important to my family and I'm important to me! So don't spout your statistics at me, with your “so there” attitude please. Because your statistics do not value people like me.

They do not consider the people behind the low numbers. They do not consider the mothers who cry for their children, the partners who grieve for the loves of their lives or in my case, the kids who cry for their mothers because they are the 1 in 100,000. It's all about the numbers. And if you're on the low end, well, who cares about you? Because most people come out fine. Majority rules.

I am the 1 in 100,000. No, we are the 1 in 100,000. Yup. And we matter too! Screw your statistics. Because when you're on the bottom end of them, like us weirdos, they just don't matter. And neither, apparently, do we. At least not to you.

Get it?

Booting negative people from your life – A closer look

First of all, you can't have one without the other.

Booting negative people from your life seems to be a growing trend. While doing so certainly makes your life more peaceful, is it the right thing to do? I have no room in my life for people who continually insult or abuse me. I don't believe I should have to be friendly with out and out criminals, bigots, etc. However, when it comes to people who simply disagree with my point of view from time to time, they are perfectly welcome in my life.

Sometimes I think people take this whole negativity removal thing a bit too far. Negativity is a powerful learning tool. As humans, we have a pretty basic learning process. By experiencing the bad, we learn to appreciate the good and make positive changes. But we are human, after all, aren't we? That means we're not perfectly positive all the time ourselves. So, next time you consider “un-friending” someone, ask yourself if their infraction was intentional first.

If their behavior contained intentional animosity toward you or someone you care for, you're probably better off without them in your life. If it didn't, do your best to find out what made them feel or act negatively. Try building them up with your own positivism. Not everyone grows and learns at the same rate. If the behavior continues or worsens or you feel your relationship with them is nothing but a psychological drain, then fine, remove them from your life.

Otherwise, just understand that nobody is perfect, not even you and that you truly do:

“Live and learn, from fools and from sages.” - Aerosmith

Everyone has at least one positive quality. Be grateful for the people in your life. Don't just kick them to the curb over one or two negative incidents. Maybe they'll give you the same consideration, the next time you do something stupid.

Why so critical?

Folks, you can probably tell by the rest of my recent blog posts that the outright animosity in the world has been on my mind lately. Why are we all so critical, intolerant and downright cruel to each other? What is the purpose of incessantly insulting each other like this?

I've noticed that there's also a lot of statistical point proving going on, especially on social media. Statistics have one fault, though. They leave out the way people in the minority feel. So what if 85% of a certain group are not victims? That doesn't mean the other 15% are not in pain, does it?

Kindness should be 100%, regardless of statistics.

By way of explanation, if someone was bleeding to death in the street would you refuse to help because that only happens to 10% of us? Of course not.

If only one person on the face of the earth was ever murdered, does that mean murder is not a problem? Because I'm pretty sure it was a problem for that person.

Every person's experiences matter to that person, regardless of statistics. Get it?

And my oh my, the judgment and blame gaming that goes on! Everyone wants to point fingers, rather than solving problems.

And the out and out rudeness! People seem to be proud of it, don't they?

Everyone wants to get the last word in, right? Everyone wants to prove themselves right, yes? That's supposed to make us better somehow, I guess. But what it really makes us is a bunch of conceited, self serving ass-hats.

And I have absolutely fallen into the trap a time or two. In fact, maybe, by being so critical of critical people, I'm actually illustrating my point. Who knows?

But I'll tell you what I do know. What I do know is that from now on, my journey is going to give acceptance and compassion a closer, deeper look. I'm going to make a concentrated- effort to be kinder, more understanding and less judgmental.

People are having battles I know nothing about. Everyone has struggles they keep to themselves. At least I know that I do. And the last thing people need on top of their already bad day is to be condemned, judged or berated.

I don't need to make someone else look or feel bad in order to prove a point or make myself look superior. I just don't. I'm much happier when instead of condemning people, I share my happiness with them so they can have a good day too.

Life is about making others happy, not miserable. Well, OK, maybe sometimes lately it isn't. But I think it should be. How about you?

Great! Now let's make it so, shall we? And while you're at it, do have a wonderful day for yourself because you're worth it!

Stark raving happy!

Oh boy, you guys. Isn't this year's presidential race enough to make you un-friend your best Facebook friend? It's been driving me absolutely bonkers the way some people push my political buttons. Oh ya! But guess what? I have found the perfect solution and instead of being stark raving mad, I am now stark raving happy!

And the secret is, ta-da! I just don't talk about politics all that much on Facebook any more.

You know, just like in real life. In real life, I don't go around holding up political posters in my friends' faces or handing them DVD's to watch on my pet subjects. That would be ridiculous, right?

So, I got to thinking, why am I doing things like that on Facebook? You know, things I would never do in real life. Why am I so caught up in telling everyone under the sun how I feel about everything under the sun in a public forum? Isn't that just asking for trouble?

And why am I so upset about other people's opinions anyway? Especially people I have never even met in person. Which, because I network on Facebook, describes about 90% of my Facebook friends.

And most especially, why on earth am I wasting precious time on pointless (because neither of us is going to change our mind) arguments when I could be enjoying myself or at least writing about my opinion and earning a few bucks?

Last time I checked, Facebook does not reward me in any way for my opinions, even when I do “win the internet.”

So, you guys, I believe that from now on, controversial subjects like politics will play a minuscule role in my Facebook experience.

I'm also stark raving happy to be done with those endless comment wars and wearing myself and others down to prove a point. Now, I just say my piece and move on. Or I don't comment at all when I am not in agreement. Either way, though, I'm living a more peaceful existence, sans Facebook politics.

It's a beautiful thing!

How to survive a zombie apocalypse

Run! Nah, just kidding. Folks, here's the thing. The first step toward surviving an apocalypse of any kind is to see it coming. Yes? You have to know who the zombies are too, right? But what if the zombie is you? We are all zombies right now and I'm about to tell you why, as well as how to turn yourself back into a human again.

Think for yourself! Oh, you already do? Not so fast. Ponder your daily activities for just one moment. How many of the things you do were influenced or promoted by society, social media, for profit businesses, your government, etc. You might think just a few. And you might be wrong. Just saying. Because I'm a rebel from way back and even I am a victim of brainwashing at times.

If you haven't noticed, even your vote, the most sacred right you have, as a member of a “free” country is being manipulated for profit. It's all decided for you before you even step into the booth. Those in power know how to motivate you to vote for the candidate they want in office.

They're good at it. They have a lot of practice. They know your buttons well and they will push them until they get what they want. Fear, anger, outrage, protecting the innocent, etc. etc. It's all in their arsenal and they are not afraid to use it. They know who's going to win because they know how to make it happen.

My friends, we are all being duped. Every second of our lives. We worry constantly about being scammed but we are being scammed 24/7. Even people who think they're making the right choices fall for it. I see it every day.

Who do you think came up with the phrase, “shop till you drop?” Chances are, it was the people who benefit from the shopping. So, even what seems like an innocent, cutesy phrase/stereotype is actually programmed into us in order to generate a profit.

They even have us believing that sending our kids off to die in a war for profit is admirable. Did you hear me there? They have us convinced that it's OK, even noble, for our kids to die to line their pockets. What? Folks, fighting for freedom and justice is one thing, but seriously? Fighting for more weapons? Oil? Power? No.

But back to the subject at hand. Most of our impressions of what we're supposed to be and what's good for us actually started as campaigns to sell more products. We are bombarded with subliminal messages daily. Messages that are now so ingrained, we don't even notice them any more. But we do base our thought processes on them.

For instance:

Men are useless around the house. All they do is watch TV and drink beer. We have to buy lots of things for them because they would be lost in the store. They love beer, tools and porn. They dread shopping, except for beer, tools and porn. And we have to buy lots of things to make ourselves pretty so they don't buy the porn or cheat on us. They are just there to fix things. They have no other value. Bullshit!

Women are stupid about business. But at the same time, they can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. In other words, let's stick them with all the work. They are obsessed with wine and love to shop for clothes and shoes, especially shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. And women who don't shave/wax their personal parts for the men they love are just gross. And older women also need plastic surgery, wrinkle cream and when they start to gain weight (which is natural, by the way) there is always more surgery. Wouldn't want to be less than perfect, right? Bullshit!

Kids always have to have the latest in technology. They can't properly do their homework without a computer. They must have a cell phone so you can be sure they're safe. If you don't entertain them with expensive gifts and activities, you're a bad parent. Bullshit!

It's OK to buy things you don't need if they're on sale or you have a coupon. Bullshit!

When will it end?

Folks, you don't “need” anything but food, clothing, shelter, family and friends. And I'm talking about real food, you know, not the kind that comes in a box full of goodness knows what. Caffeine is not a nutritional necessity. It is, however, extremely addictive and profitable. So, hey, let's get people talking about how much they need it to survive the day. Then, they'll buy more and more and more.

We don't need fancy clothes and million dollar homes with bowling alleys and pools either. TV is not a necessity. Computers are not a necessity unless you use them to make a living. Wait. What? You see what is happening there? We are so accustomed to making money for others that we are becoming just as greedy ourselves. If it makes us money, it's OK.

And there you go. That is my zombie weakness, right there. Computer = writing = money.

Big business has us confusing our needs and wants. It's profitable for them to do so. And big pharm? They're selling us medicine we don't need, which is making us sicker and sicker because that's profitable too. And what's worse? They have our doctors convinced that we need it and are paying them to prescribe it to us.

And now, we have started selling people too. Yes? To the point where people talk about “branding” themselves for better sale value. You must look, talk and act according to the dictates and mandates of society in order to be salable.

And that is how zombies are born, ladies and gentleman.

If you really want to survive the zombie apocalypse, don't become a corporate owned zombie sell out. Just don't do it. Don't let them tell you how to feel or what you need. Don't buy what they're selling unless it's actually good for you or you actually need it. And when it comes to political matters, don't let them scare you into the lesser of two evils when there is a “no evil” option.

That's right, we would not have to settle for the lesser of two evils if we all voted for no evil. We actually do have the power. But they have us so scared that we just follow along with their game, dragging our swollen feet behind us and silently licking our gaping wounds. They even have us convinced that there are only two candidates worth considering. You know. The two from the political parties they have conveniently wrapped around their fingers?

And maybe you're OK with that. Maybe you enjoy being someone's puppet for profit or getting 80% of what you do need and having a whole bunch of crap you don't need cluttering up your house so someone else can get richer than they already are. If so, use your vote and your life to continue on with business as usual. Just don't tell me that I have to do the same.

Because I'm no zombie.