Ha! Do you feel me, chronic illness
peeps? Oh boy, when I was on high dose prednisone, I was an argument
waiting to happen. And not just any argument, either. I was on fire
with burning emotion, resentment, jealousy and just plain old
meanness. Hormones had nothing on me. I was dealing with feelings I
didn't know how to deal with at all, because I'm normally a very mild
mannered, soft spoken person.
Stop laughing.
I really am.
That's why when prednisone got a hold
of me, it all came pouring out. Years of frustration. Years of “being
nice” and holding things in. Yup everything that had been bugging
me for the last 40 years came bursting out in tirades of epic
proportions.
It was anything but peaceful.
I'm sure it's much the same for other
introverted people taking steroids and other toxic wonders for
chronic illnesses.
Which brings me to my point.
Folks, I'm not asking you to let people
abuse you because their medications or painful, exhausting illnesses
are turning them into monsters. But do try to understand they,
personally, are not the cause. They are not evil incarnate, just
because they sound like they need an exorcism.
They're in pain. A lot of pain.
Unimaginable pain. They're not screaming in pain because it's a daily
occurrence they deal with. You won't see their pain, but believe me,
you don't want to. And those meds! Holy crap! Mother Theresa would
freak on some of them. I'm serious.
I did not recognize myself when I was
on meds. I was literally a different person altogether. Some days,
when I have to high dose to to flares, I still am.
But inside, I'm still the same old
peace loving happiness guru, even if it doesn't show. I am not the enemy. I promise.
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