Tuesday, July 18, 2017

It's not me, it's my meds

Ha! Do you feel me, chronic illness peeps? Oh boy, when I was on high dose prednisone, I was an argument waiting to happen. And not just any argument, either. I was on fire with burning emotion, resentment, jealousy and just plain old meanness. Hormones had nothing on me. I was dealing with feelings I didn't know how to deal with at all, because I'm normally a very mild mannered, soft spoken person.

Stop laughing.

I really am.

That's why when prednisone got a hold of me, it all came pouring out. Years of frustration. Years of “being nice” and holding things in. Yup everything that had been bugging me for the last 40 years came bursting out in tirades of epic proportions.

It was anything but peaceful.

I'm sure it's much the same for other introverted people taking steroids and other toxic wonders for chronic illnesses.

Which brings me to my point.

Folks, I'm not asking you to let people abuse you because their medications or painful, exhausting illnesses are turning them into monsters. But do try to understand they, personally, are not the cause. They are not evil incarnate, just because they sound like they need an exorcism.

They're in pain. A lot of pain. Unimaginable pain. They're not screaming in pain because it's a daily occurrence they deal with. You won't see their pain, but believe me, you don't want to. And those meds! Holy crap! Mother Theresa would freak on some of them. I'm serious.

I did not recognize myself when I was on meds. I was literally a different person altogether. Some days, when I have to high dose to to flares, I still am.

But inside, I'm still the same old peace loving happiness guru, even if it doesn't show. I am not the enemy. I promise.

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