Peace Path Revelation - Your life really is other people's business

When you realize there is truth in the title of this post, it's a bit of a tough revelation to swallow. Why is it anyone else's business how you live your life? The answer is both simple and complex. So, to begin with, let's start with a fact we are all familiar with.

We are all connected through our actions and reactions.

No argument there, right? Most of us know that everything we do or say impacts others. Even our beliefs influence our behavior. They prompt us to speak, act and react in a certain way. Therefore, our beliefs also impact other people, especially those closest to us.

Are we in agreement so far?

Good, because here's where it gets interesting.

Because of our connection to everyone and everything in the universe, while we appear to be individuals, our true value and purpose lies in being a functioning part of a greater whole. This revelation can be both liberating and scary.

Relinquishing yourself to the cog in the wheel theory, well, it pretty much goes against everything we've ever been conditioned to believe, doesn't it? I mean, we're all about being who we are, celebrating our individuality, etc. etc.

And yet, gazing at the big picture reveals that every little piece of the natural world, ourselves included, is just another cog in the great wheel of life. We are both insignificant and valuable. Our value lies in the fact that how we live our lives impacts everyone's “success” and not just our own. It has both nothing and everything to do with our independent actions.

Complicated, yes?

Your decisions, thoughts and actions have a huge impact on everyone around you. If you're not pulling the weight of the chain that your particular cog is responsible for pulling, chances are, someone else has to take up the slack in order for the wheel to turn.

On the other hand, if your cog is functioning properly, the wheel turns more smoothly in response. No one else has to pull your weight. 

To take it a step further, if your cog is functioning above and beyond what it takes to turn the wheel, you not only carry your own weight, you ease the burden of others. That is, for people who are not, for whatever reason, performing their own duties.

This group would, of course, include the sick, the elderly and such.

Unfortunately, it also includes people who, for whatever reason, have decided that their life is none of your business, people who, even though they are perfectly capable individuals, refuse to hoist their burden, which forces you to take up the slack, yes?

Feels a little different on the heavy end of the chain, right?

Do you see why everything you say and do is the business of someone else? At the very least, you have to admit that it is the business of the cog closest to you, that is forced to take on your duties. However, in actuality, your life is the business of everyone who is influenced by your thoughts and resultant actions.

Which is literally, everyone!

So, yes, although it's a tough pill to swallow, it really is everyone else's business how you live your life. It's still your prerogative to live life as you choose, of course. Sort of. Just keep in mind that doing so without considering your impact on others will sometimes limit their ability to function properly.

And that's just not very nice, is it?

But there's another silver lining to taking up your own slack. Because guess what? If you're not burdening those other cogs with your duties, they'll likely be able to focus on their own responsibilities instead of worrying about yours. And that means, no one will have to pick up their slack either.

See how that works? We're all in this life together. That makes what everyone does, everyone else's business. We might not like that but it doesn't make it any less true.

So, go ahead, follow your dreams. Just make sure you're not holding others back from doing the same.

Yank your own chain, little cog. That way, no one else has to yank it for you.

#BeLove #BeKind #BeConsiderate

Peaceful, easy country feeling

So many thoughts swirling through my head this morning. All of them, very peaceful. Relocating to a tiny, somewhat antiquated western town on the plains of Colorado next month has a lot to do with it. Very much looking forward to the relaxed atmosphere there. Still, we can all create a zone of peace, no matter where we live.

This morning I'm listening to “my” favorite yard bird, accompanied by the crows of the neighborhood rooster and wondering how much my connection with the universe and the sense of peace I've been experiencing of late have to do with me focusing on moving to the country.

Just to clarify, I'm not saying that I'm particularly special. We're all connected to the universe. Every last one of us, along with every other living being or blade of grass or tree on the planet. We're all a part of nature. We are nature.

Now, let me back-track for a minute to fill you in.

My bird is a black capped chickadee with a unique, two whistle chirp. There was one in my country yard, growing up. There's one in my city yard now. I wonder if there will be one in my new yard, out on the plains. Wouldn't that be awesome?

And yes, we are moving. City home sold. Country home purchased. And while I still love the Denver metro area with all my heart, life out on the plains suits us much better. Truly looking forward to living in a place that lacks tall buildings, light/sound pollution and looking forward to the slow life. Besides, we won't be too far away. It's a commutable distance.

But Oooh and Ahhh to:

Star gazing from our backyard deck. Tilling and planting our own healthy country soil. Being a contributing member of a small community. Long, leisurely bike rides to nowhere in particular with a packed picnic lunch in the bike basket. Sitting by the wood-stove on cold winter nights. Room for extended family and guests on holidays and special occasions. Room to create. Room to breathe. Room to relax.

It's going to be spectacular! But then again, life always is, with the right state of mind. And now, back to today:

I'm sitting in my chair, listening to these two, decidedly different birds serenade me and planning a peaceful country life. How will I fill my rooms and my days? What do I still need to pack? Because I want to be ready to roll when the day comes. Ready to start a new life again. Ready for positive and even negative changes.

Because life is about change, isn't it? Learning new things. Growing. Stretching. Spreading wings to take on fluctuating currents, soft breezes and even an occasional tumultuous, temperamental tornado or two.

I woke up this morning to a new day and a new life, just like I do every day. Trudging the peace path and loving every minute of it. But somehow, today seems more peaceful, knowing a dramatically new beginning is just around the corner. Can't wait!

Picking at bones for peace (pardon the expression)

Sometimes, in order to feel at peace, I have to write about the bones I'm picking. This morning, what's bugging me is certain other people who want everyone to behave just as they do.

Recently, I heard, through a very trusted source that someone thinks I'm a user, due to the fact that I'm ill and can't work and my husband pays the bills. And to make matters worse, I have realized that it's because they don't take me seriously as his wife.

And ya, I get it. I'm much older than my husband. And he is my common-law husband, not my “real” husband whatever that means. Maybe on the surface, I don't appear to be a mother's dearest wish for her son. But I spend most of every single day doing things for my husband that he does not have the time or energy to do. Our relationship is a huge part of why he is monetarily and otherwise successful.

Our relationship is very positive. It strengthens us both. Neither of us takes advantage of the other. We both contribute a lot to the relationship. We're both extremely happy. My husband has no problem supporting me financially because he knows very well that what I do for him more than justifies it.

And we both know that in the event, and this event is coming, believe me, in the event that I can no longer do what I do for him, we will still be together as long as we are both breathing. Why? Because we love and care about each other.

Our relationship is not based on who owes who or who does more for who. We're just not those people. Arghhhh! Has this person never heard the portion of the wedding vows that refers to staying together in sickness or in health? For richer or poorer? For better or worse?

Do they not realize that if the situation were reversed, I would do exactly the same for him? I mean, for heavens sake, we've been together 11 years. This is not a fly by night thing. This is permanent!

My husband and I may have never recited vows in front of our family and friends, but we live them daily. In fact, I would venture to say that when compared to many people we know who are “really” married, our relationship stacks up pretty favorably.

Oh, and another picked bone: If one more person gossips about how we are enabling the people we love by being nice to them, helping them, guiding them through their their struggles, etc.. I think that, as peaceful as I am, I'm going to punch them straight in the face. Hows that for keeping the peace?

This is our choice. Sure, it can be frustrating at times. But family is about love. It's about working together. It's about forgiveness. It's about lending a hand and being kind and patient. Certainly, no one wants to be taken advantage of. But turning away someone you love who is in need (or suggesting someone else turn away someone they love) says a whole hell of a lot more about the kind of person you are than it does about how much someone else is taking advantage or being taking advantage of.

I'm a good person, dammit. I'm going to keep being kind to people. And my husband is going to keep being kind to people, me included. We're going to keep being kind to each other. We're going to smother each other and everyone around us with kindness, generosity and love whether you like it or not. It's our life, not yours. #DontJudge #BeNice

Ahhhh …...peace at last.