Tone it down? Maybe....

Ahem.... So, lately I've been thinking to myself that I may come off just a tad opinionated. I'm sure that doesn't surprise most of my readers. OK. I'm sure that doesn't surprise any of my readers. It's kind of who I am, you know?

I also have a tendency to be critical of others. OK, I know. You figured that out too. Yup.

But really, you guys, I would like to be a smidge nicer. No, I'm serious. You see, I used to be one of those people who never said a bad word about anyone. It's true. 

Then one day, I just cracked the heck out of my shell, stuck my head out, opened my big fat yap and all those repressed thoughts came pouring out.

And I got carried away with it, I guess. To the point where I'm now searching diligently for that sweet girl I used to be. She's gone, of course, swept away in a current of “I've been holding this in for way too long.”

But still, I'd very much like to get back just a little of her sensitivity and kindness. Just a little. And so, from now on, I'm making an effort to at least take the edge off my bark and bite. We'll see how it goes, right?

Because we all know me, right? I can't promise that I won't get worked up about some injustice and have a relapse. Still, I'm going to give it a go. Tone it down a bit. Be a kinder, gentler version of the beast. Maybe....

On the subject of un-friending

It's better for both parties!

I used to think that un-friending/un-following people on Facebook whose opinions disagreed with mine was un-cool, rude and pretentious. I was wrong. Turns out that I was being a little too politically correct for my own good. Plus, I was preventing them from having a peaceful Facebook experience as well.

Think about it. If you're nearly always aggravated and your day is negatively impacted by someone's posts, chances are, they feel the same about yours. It's just not nice to put them (or you) through that for no reason other than to continually shove your opinions down their throat or “I told you so” them to death with memes and related articles that prove your point.

It's much better to treat Facebook and other social media friends just as you do those in real life. If you disagree with people in real life, don't you naturally drift apart? And if you agree with someone in real life, aren't you naturally drawn to them?

That's because you can relate to those you agree with. You find conversations with them to be a pleasant experience. You enjoy being around them. And those other people? Not so much, yes?

Now, I'm not saying that in “real” life, you should make it your goal to only have friends that agree with you. That would be silly. What I'm saying is that it's just how it goes. It's natural to migrate toward like-minded people.

Besides, why would you want a friend who makes you feel bad or brings constant negativity to your life?

But the more important question here is, why would they want you to make them miserable, either?

Because as right as you think you are, you have to face the fact that to some people, you're the annoying and negative one. Oh yes, you are. And maybe that's the very best reason there is not to feel guilty about clicking that unfriend button.

Because it's better for both of you.

And on a personal note, the one good thing this recent election has done for me is give me the courage to click that button on numerous occasions. And you know what? It works for me and it works for them (the un-friended/un-followed) too.

Facebook is fun again for me. I'm also sure it's better for them too. Because on more than a few occasions, it was a mutual, peaceful agreement. How do you like that?

Folks, you don't have to like everyone. You don't have to pretend you like everyone. You don't have to tolerate everything. You're a human being with very human emotions. Just be yourself and the people who belong in your life and that will enrich it will be drawn to you.

And yin/yang being what it is, the opposite is also true. Those who don't belong in your life and don't enrich it, will drift away.

Nothing wrong that. Or with wanting your life and theirs to be a happier experience. Nothing wrong with it at all. It's better for both of you.

The peace promotion conundrum

Quite often, I have people question me as to why or how I can say I promote peace when I get so fired up about injustice. The thing is you guys, you cannot truly stand for peace without standing against hatred. Yin/Yang etc. You see, it's much like those in the army who fight for freedom. (Not that I'm comparing their sacrifice to mine in any way.) I am constantly fighting for peace, love and compassion.

Ironic, yes? (Fighting for peace, that is.)

Couldn't I simply exude sunshine and rainbows all day and hope people follow my lead? Not really. Because, while I'm doing that, others are busy learning to sway good people to their evil and not so well intended line of thinking. The squeaky, noisy, rusty wheel gets the oil every time, my friends. Nobody cares about that quiet wheel at the back of the cart just calmly turning in a dignified manner and saying nothing.

I believe we just saw that principle in action, didn't we?

Leading exclusively by quiet example doesn't work because human nature doesn't work that way. We want fire in our leaders. We want them to have the courage to speak up and speak out. Loudly. And yes, we want a good example to follow. However, if nothing is said or dealt with, example just doesn't cut it. In fact, if history is any indication, leading by example alone is a death sentence.

It doesn't even matter what they're saying, we want our leaders to sound off.

Once again, we just saw that last bit proven. Am I right?

Ladies and gentleman, this is my conundrum.

I want people to exude peace, love, compassion and all that's good. I want people to love and care for each other. I want the world to be filled with random kindness and unselfish sacrifices for the greater good. I try my best to do that every day myself.

Unfortunately, in order for peace to happen, we must first squelch the nastiness. And in order to do that, we can't just wait and hope. We have to take action. We have to fight for a better world. Because, let's face it, no-one is going to hand it to us on a silver platter. The powers that be like being the powers that be. It's working for them.

And oh boy, do they love it when we roll over and do nothing. In fact, they love it so much that they have spent decades studying us so that they can make us do just exactly that without us even realizing it. They're so good at it that we think there is actually a good side and an evil side, no matter which “side” we're on, we think they other “side” is brainwashed, when actually, we all are!

Societal manipulation is a science, my friends and they have got it down pat.

So, I'm not always nice. I'm not always peaceful, either. Sometimes, I give evil exactly what it deserves. Call it a kick in the pants, a punch in the face or just a good talking to. But in any case, if you want peace, you have to rise up against oppression, bigotry, bullying and general hatred. You have to speak up and speak out. You have to hit it right where it lives.

The powers that be don't understand peace. It's not in their repertoire. If you want to get through to them, sometimes you have to speak their language. Sad, but true. Still, I'd rather fight for peace, freedom and justice than lose them forever. (Or worse, fight for hatred and exclusion in disguise.) So there you go. There's your answer. Why do I come off so mean and intolerant when I claim to represent peace, love and compassion?

Because I have to, that's why.
Because someone has to take that stand.
Because someone has to make people aware of injustice.
Because someone has to point it out so people will notice.
Because if we aren't aware of the problem, how can we address it?

But most of all:

Because if no one does anything.... If we all sit back, wait and see and take things as they come, well, nothing will ever change.

So, you see, I can be the sweetest, kindest, most tolerant, most compassionate person in the universe and usually, I am. But unless I occasionally stand up and make that wheel squeal, nothing will ever change. So, ya, it may be a bit ironic. But I will fight for peace, freedom, compassion and justice, tooth and nail every day of my life. I will not calmly wait and see while the world falls apart around me.

Actions speak louder than silence.

And there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with being enemies with hatred.

Get it?

For heaven's sake, you don't have to tolerate everything!

It's OK to be angry at some behaviors!

I've noticed a trend lately that I'd like to talk about. Now, before I get started, let me assure you, I am a big fan of individuality. I believe in respecting people's right to do or say what they feel. However, accepting them doesn't mean that I have to accept their bad behavior or be OK with everything they support, particularly if what they support causes others pain and suffering.

Because, my friends, there are some behaviors that are simply unacceptable. And there are some people who, when they exhibit those behaviors, are more than difficult to be around. They zap your energy. They kill your joy. They upset you. They make you sad for our future.

Because the behaviors they exhibit and the things they support, reveal them as uncaring, unkind, biased and just plain, downright nasty.

Now granted, some well intended people simply don't know how bad the things they support are or how selfish they sound by supporting them. Some people don't realize that the things they promote have a hate based, exclusionary core. It's not their fault. They're victims of the “let's purposefully create lemmings” technique of brainwashing incorporated by those to whom power is king.

And BTW, as a side point, there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting good people know what's really going on, so that they can make a more educated choice of their own, as long as you have good intentions and do so with an open heart.

But on to the main point.

Folks, it's OK to stay away from people who are purposely cruel, rude, prejudiced, etc. You don't have to accept anyone's “right” to be an asshole. You don't have to be understanding of people who lack compassion, don't have a sense of right from wrong (or don't act as if they do) or fail to consider the negative impact their behaviors have on others.

There seems to be a trend these days of accept everyone for who they are, mind your own business, scroll, scroll, scroll. And that's fine. But not if the person you're accepting of is a complete and total selfish jerk or has been brainwashed into thinking some cause or another is just and fair when it's actually quite horrendous. That's just not OK and you don't have to be OK with it. And the reason it's not OK is because people are being hurt by it.

You don't have to accept and/or tolerate everything and everyone!

Not only that, you shouldn't. Because the longer we continue to accept/promote/ignore cruelty, bias, selfishness, etc., the longer they will stick around. So, speak up, speak out and take action against behaviors that impact all of us negatively. It's perfectly OK not to accept every human behavior. You don't have to remain friends with people who continually behave in a manner that's hurtful and destructive.

It's OK to call an asshole an asshole. They don't deserve your respect. They're not earning your respect and they shouldn't get your respect.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Would you like to swing on a star?

Not me. Night stars are incredibly beautiful. They're the subject of many of my paintings. Still, I'm a true down to earth, feet on the ground sort of girl. Or, at least when I do soar, it's on my own terms. I suppose some might call me stodgy, except that I'm a definite left winger. LOL Maybe boring is a better term. I'm pretty much content with the simple things. They make me happy.

I've also never had much use the other kind of stars. Fame, fortune and all that goes with it doesn't appeal to me. I don't care which celebrity is pregnant, has just been arrested or what substance they're addicted to either. It's not that I think they're horrible people. In fact, it's that I think they're no different than you or I. Plus, every human being deserves a little privacy.

I don't have much use for flaunting my possessions either. Which is good, because I don't have many.

I lead a simple life. I like that. 

I don't say that with smugness, either. To each his own, as they say. You may enjoy reading about the hi-jinks of celebrities, while shopping like a “fashionista.” Have at it. It's just not for me. I'll be reading a book, writing, gardening or riding my bike.

I was raised in an era where pop culture didn't influence our daily lives so heavily. I guess that’s why I have no desire to buy into it.

Sales pitches are wasted on me. If you want me to buy what you're selling, the best approach is not to approach me at all. Don't stalk me on social media, trying to convince me your idea or product is worthy of my hard earned dollars. Don't park yourself outside the local grocery with your donation box. That's the quickest way to get me to say no. 

Unless you have Girl Scout cookies, of course.

I am not star struck, sparkly or blinded by the light. I'm not stupid, either. I know manipulation when I see it. I don't like things just because I'm supposed to. 

I think about the consequences of my lifestyle and don't follow the crowd unless they're doing something I agree with. Tradition can be a beautiful thing, but some traditions have traditionally brought us nothing but trouble.

So, as I said, to each his own. Would you like to swing on a star? Go for it. I'll be down here with my feet firmly planted. It suits me.

Do you know who I am?

You do? Oh, thank goodness! Well, let me in on the secret, will you? I've been trying to figure it out since puberty. Oh, I have the general gist of it, alright. I'm a tree hugger. I'm a friend to animals. I believe in a low impact lifestyle. (That's code for I can't buy anything because I'm too broke.) Still, my personality seems to morph with every epiphany and revelation I have.

I'm sarcastic, but friendly. The sarcasm is just for fun. I'm really quite shy and sensitive. I'm a neat freak, but I still manage to slobber all over myself when I eat. I love cooking for my partner, but he better not ever come to expect it. I'm no Suzy Homemaker, but I take total June Cleaver pride in my house. That doesn't mean it's spotless, oh crap no, I'm not THAT good.

And once I get out of the house, I never want to come home. I love road trips!

When I was a kid I read Sybil (spelling?). I was totally convinced I had multiple personalities. Now that I'm all grown up, I realize everyone does. Yup, you included. You can never fully know anyone. That's because as humans, we are constantly changing, based on our experiences and/or latent traits that we haven't brought to their full potential.

Do you know me completely? Heck no. I don't know you either. That's the whole point. That's what makes it fun. Being friends with someone who never changes or is stuck in a rut is boring. So, let's keep the mystery in it, shall we? Just when you think you know me, I'll reveal a side of me you had no idea existed. I'm cool like that.

A Johnny Depp quote and what I think of it

Who knows if he actually said it. It was a Facebook meme, after all. And yes, I know. Johnny Depp is awesome. And of course, he's way, way more successful than I am. But that doesn't mean he can't be wrong on occasion, does it?

So, that being said, here is a Johnny Depp quote I saw and what I think of it.

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you loved the first one, you would never have fallen for the second.”

Well, OK, Johnny, you make a good point, but I have to say this is not always true.

What if the second one is one of those snow job artists who only wants you for money/stability but is really, really good at convincing you he or she is a prize package in order to get what he/she wants?

What if the second one has you blinded with awesome, different sex and when that sex goes away, you realize that was all you liked about him/her?

Or what if the first one is much better for you than the second one, but you're one of those people who's never satisfied because you think the person you're with is supposed to be perfect like those folks on TV or in the movies?

Or what if you're a real dumb-ass when it comes to choosing who you fall for and both of them are losers?

So, here's what I think. The first person could be the one you should be with. The second person could also be the one you should be with. Every circumstance is different. And no matter which one you choose, there will likely be some regrets.

So, here's an idea. How about you try being with one person at a time, rather than confusing the holy hell out of yourself and making everyone else involved absolutely miserable?

Hmmm. It just might work.