Thursday, December 8, 2016

How do I really make others feel?

No idea! Just rolling my eyes at myself.
Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how my words and actions speak to others. Sometimes I'm not real proud of myself in this area. My intentions are good. It's just that sometimes other people frustrate me to the point where I say and do some things that aren't very nice.

Now, I'm not justifying my behavior. Far from it. I'd really like to stop. I wish I had my Dad's self control when it comes to things like people disappointing me. Unfortunately, I do not. Nope. When people let me down over and over, I find it nearly impossible to hold my tongue and temper.

I suppose I could look at it as self defense, but I don't think that way. Nope. It's one of my worst character flaws and one that I am working on.

I also have this thing where taking about my frustrations helps. Unfortunately, that talk sometimes comes out sharp and gossipy. I hate that about myself.

And then, of course, there is another side. It's just way too easy to forgive myself because after all, there is good reason for me to be upset under certain circumstances with repeat offenders, right?

People who continually show a lack of consideration or those who just constantly ask for more than I have to give may be getting exactly what they deserve but I don't feel good about it.

Instead, I feel like I should be giving what I would like to receive, regardless of anyone else's behavior.

So how do I really make others feel? Is my help/advice, actually helpful or rude and intrusive? Sometimes I'm not so sure, even though I mean well. And I wonder, do they even realize why I'm so very frustrated sometimes?

Do they see how they make me feel? Or have I just become the “Big Bad Wolf” of this scenario? I certainly hope not but if I had to hazard a guess, I'm pretty sure that's how some people see me, despite the fact that they may have “started it” by being nonchalant about my feelings and/or taking advantage of my generosity.

Relationships with other humans sure are complex, aren't they? Especially for those of us who lack social skills and have limitations that keep us from attaining them. But I'm not giving up. Nope. I will overcome this habit of holding in resentments until they blow up in the faces of those I love.

Meanwhile, I hope that I make the people in my life feel loved and welcome at least 75% of the time. And as for those bad days, I sincerely apologize. Geez! I'm such a hard case! Such a human! Who knew?

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