Growing a smart mouth zipper

I've never been the mouthy type up until the last few years, so what the heck happened to me? I was raised to be humble and helpful, not harsh and rude. I really need to regrow my smart mouth zipper, you guys. But in order to do that, I have to figure out how I got to a place where doing so is necessary.

Now, I've always been a “nice” person. That is if the opinions of those around me are to be believed. But appearances can be deceiving sometimes. I'm not as perfect as some might think. Shhh... don't tell, but inside, there have been unexpressed aggravations building up. Lots and lots of aggravations.

So, from time to time, over the years, those aggravation have led me to release my frustrations with hurtful sarcasm and on occasion, all out rants.

I'm not proud of this and I'm not making excuses. Just stating facts.

When you are a caregiver/helper type person. It is inevitable that there will be a few people on the receiving end of your good will who take advantage. Sometimes they are aware of this, sometimes not.

It's a circle. It really is. Frustration and negativity beget more frustration and negativity, which in my case, leads to me spewing forth years of hateful baggage from the depths of my soul. I need to grow a smart mouth zipper, however justified my rantings and ravings may be.

Because there really is no justification for spewing anger, no matter how truthful or constructive it may be. It only serves to hurt everyone around me and bring them down.

But how will I grow this mouth zipper? Maybe I need a rubber-band on my wrist to snap whenever I feel the other kind of snap come on. I don't know. But I'm determined to find that sweet girl I used to be somewhere under all this baggage.

Yoda would say, “Do or don't do, there is no try.” But I say you have to start somewhere and even a slow start is better than not trying at all.