Friday, February 5, 2016

Things I hate about writing

Jaipi Sixbear is not all sunshine and roses. In fact, there's a lot of things that bug me. Otherwise, this blog would not exist. Nobody's perfectly happy all the time. We all know there's something that bothers everyone, no matter how nice they are on the surface. So here's a bunch of things I hate about writing, even though I love that this is what I do for a living.
I actually hate having to use a pen name

As most of you know, Jaipi Sixbear is not my real name. When I first started writing online, I decided to use a pen name to protect myself and my family from the inevitable weirdos who come out of the woodwork when I address controversial subjects.

Consequently, I actually become someone else when I write. I become Jaipi Sixbear, who's a more outgoing and outspoken version of me. And being Jaipi Sixbear for a large part of my day has begun to change the “real” me too. I couldn't go back to who I was before, even if I wanted to. It wouldn't feel right because I've grown and changed through the anonymity of my writing persona, which has in turn changed the “real” me. That's the cool part.

I love the personal growth I have experienced as Jaipi. And yet, I hate the type of people that necessitate pen names and other protective measures. Behave yourself, you idiots, so the rest of us can be who we are.

Describing myself in the third person

Everyone knows who writes those little bios on profiles and such. It's us. We write our own bios. Why can't we speak in the first person? Well, that wouldn't be professional, now would it? No, it's much better to sound like a complete idiot, by describing yourself in the third person. Jaipi Sixbear hates talking about herself as if she were describing someone else. It sounds silly and somewhat pretentious.

Who made up this stupid rule?

We can never just write the way we want.

Why are we so afraid to be ourselves when we write? Mark Twain did it. I hate those writing rules and regulations that exist for no reason other than to make us appear well heeled and refined. Mainly because I am neither and I'm proud of it. Never had a use for snobbery and never will.

Most editors don't like it when we write the way we speak either.

They hate first person, except in blogs. I don't know about you, but when I carry on a conversation, I go back and forth between first and third person a lot. I bring up a factual subject or incident. Then, I talk about my own experiences and tell stories about the experiences of others. Sometimes I even throw in a little “how to.” Therefore, writing that way seems more natural to me. How about you?

Back to those high handed rules

One of the biggest things on my “things I hate about writing” list is the other unbending, unending rules. I prefer to let the words flow from my fingertips like rain on a hot summer afternoon. I almost don't care about proper sentence structure, form or function. I put the words together so they sound good and mean something. Rules are for fancy people and I'm not fancy.
I'm not completely illiterate.

*I watch my spelling and grammar unless I am making a point of it.
*I try to make my points intelligently and clearly.
*I “speak” simply.
*I don't use huge words people don't understand just to make myself look smarter.

By the way, I do know those "big" words, but what does it matter if the reader needs a dictionary to interpret my articles? You see, I want everyone to be able to read and comprehend my articles. Not just the highly educated. Everyone.

Sometimes I hate my thought process

When facing a deadline, there's nothing I hate more than my own mind. Writing is a strange profession. It may, in fact be the only profession where not being in the right frame of mind is completely disabling. You literally can't write unless your head is in the right place.

Think of any other job. I don't care what you do for a living, you can do it depressed, hung over, heart broken and even all out insane. Not so with writing. You need your brain to write,. If it's out of commission, nothing happens. So, add to the list of things I hate about writing, the fact that if my mind is not cooperating, I can't do my job.

People who think writing is easy

Writing is my chosen profession and despite all these things I hate about writing, I love it! There is nothing I would rather do than this. Still, it's not the easiest profession in the world. So many people who don't write have a strange and utterly incorrect view of writers. So many people I know do not understand why I don't get a "real" job. They think writing is so darn easy. It makes me angry at times.

I don't just sit in front of a bay window, watching birdies and pleasantly tapping out my thoughts. I work hard!

Not everyone can do this job, but a lot of people think they can.

Writing takes research and verification of facts. It takes time to find the right words. Words that don't offend. Words that get the point across. Words that please the search engines so someone will actually click on my article and read the darn thing. Words that hold the readers interest for more than a nanosecond. Writing is hard work. I hate it when people think anyone can do this or those who look at it as easy money.

Criticism from mainstream writers

Many of us online writers receive boatloads of criticism from print media writers concerning the quality of our work. Seriously, folks, there is room for both of us on this freight train. Our writing serves a purpose and fills a need, whether you care to admit it or not. There are crap writers online and there are crap writers in print. There are also some darn good writers both in print and online.

Yes, we online writers have to word and write our articles in such a way that gets us noticed by the search engines, just as print writers have to tow the line with their editors (so do we, by the way). That's how all we earn a living. One more thing, some of us earn just as much and more than conventional writers do. It's a myth that online writers don't make "real" money.

Superior attitudes among my peers.

Print writers don't have a monopoly on superiority complexes. There are plenty of online writers pouncing on those of us who choose to be a little more flexible with the rules. Some of them even go so far as to report our “bad behavior” to our editors.

To these people I say, write how you want and I'll write how I want. If you don't like my style, you don't have to read what I write. Besides, where do you find the time to worry about someone elses writing?

Personally, I'm far too busy for that.

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