Friday, June 17, 2016

I'm not perfect, but I'm still growing

According to this photographic proof, I'm almost a ten. Ya, right.

Hey, I'm only 56. Give me time. Ha! So, it occurred to me that my last post on the value of integrity and it's relationship with everyone's favorite friend, happiness, may have seemed a bit self righteous, so I figured I would drop another one on you right away to dispel the notion that I think I belong on a pedestal, simply because I was raised by people of integrity.

I don't. Not at all.

Oh boy, when I look back on some of my blogs and articles, does that ever become crystal clear! Some of them are so badly written and with such misplaced determination that I can barely stand to read through them myself. I have never been nor will I ever be picture perfect. Nope. Sadly, I am condemned to spend the rest of my life as a normal, average human being. Who knew?

Hey, stop laughing. I swear I'm just as normal as anyone. Oh sure, my beliefs are a tad off the mainstream. Heck, some of them have jumped ship altogether. Oh, how I love to jump ship! My favorite thing about myself is that I'm so far out of the box that I have no idea where it is or why I'm supposed to be concerned about whether I'm in it or out of it.

Someone once told me I was way out of line and she was probably right. I don't think I have ever really, truly been in line. But then, conforming to a broken society and having good character are two totally different things, aren't they? You don't have to be a good little soldier to possess integrity. In fact, those two qualities aren't really compatible as a general rule. Mind blowing, right?

And again, I'm not bragging. Trust me, I love myself, but...“I'm not your Super Woman.” (By the way, brownie points if you sung that.) I do, however, believe in working toward perfection of character, even though I know for absolute certain that I will never get there. Well now, isn't that a cheerful attitude? Nah! It's just the truth. No human being is, has ever been or ever will be perfect. No matter what their idea of perfect might be.

Anyway, back to my point. I'm a very opinionated person. Stop rolling your eyes. I am well aware of how obvious that has become. Anyway.... because I have strong opinions and I speak my mind and I'm determined to share my thoughts with anyone who is willing (or unwilling) to listen, I worry that some people may see me as conceited. (Apparently, I also say “I” a lot.) In fact, I just highlighted all the I's in this post and I don't even want to count them. There are way too many.

What? You say that's a sign of being self centered? Hey, honestly, I'm not conceited. I'm just super smart and I know what's good for you, plus this is my blog, right? So, so shut up about the I's and listen. Ha! Just kidding.

My only ulterior motive in life is to do my best to harm no one and make as many people happy along the journey as possible. Hey, I passed a Facebook quiz on it, so it must be true.

However, it wasn't and isn't always true. Because I'm one of those people whose head is not impacted, no matter how many bricks you throw at it. That's a fancy way of saying I'm stubborn as all get out. And guess what? I also have a mean streak if you step on the wrong toe. My pen isn't just poison, it's also sharply honed through years of abuse. All those imaginary conversations with those who have wronged me, where I tell them off and get the last word, have sharpened me like a double edged sword.

So ya, you know that person of integrity that I'm recommending you work toward becoming? I'm not there yet either. I still go off like a steam kettle at times when provoked. I guess some might look at it as not practicing what I preach. And sure, my willpower, humanity, timing or whatever needs work. But I'm getting there.

I may not be the person I want to be yet, but I'm learning. Each day brings me closer to being at least half the person my Dad was. But here's the thing; Even trying to be more respectful, more considerate, kinder and more loving brings me the greatest joy. And that's why I told you to do the same. Not because I think I'm perfect.

It's not about me, nor do I believe that I'm always right and/or the greatest thing since sliced cinnamon bread without those annoying raisins. But you guys, I am very, very happy. In fact, the only thing that would make me happier is seeing the rest of the world happy too. Hence, that last blog, while it may have seemed conceited, well, it was actually all about you.

Isn't it “I”ronic?

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