Pardon me, but you stink!

It's funny, but it's not. Not at all. If you're basically a nice person, just how do you discuss the fact that a grown adult needs to shower more often? How do you tell someone that their body odor has reached the offensive point without causing them embarrassment? It's impossible. And yet, it's necessary.

“Pardon me, but your body odor is offensive.” “Could you please improve your personal hygiene habits?” No matter how polite you try to be, it just doesn't cut it, does it? No matter how nicely you say it, asking someone to shower more frequently just sounds rude and will likely make them feel bad.

On the other hand, the rest of us have a right to a stink free environment, whether at home or out and about. So, I'll say it here and address it to no one in particular. For heavens sake, please take a shower at least once a day. Because sometimes you can't smell yourself but for other people, there is absolutely no doubt that it's been a while since you and a bar of soap encountered each other.

Yes, the water bills are sky high and water is in short supply. So, take a shorter shower, but please do shower daily. If not for yourself, than for the rest of us. I implore you!

Isn't it crazy that this issue even exists? Shouldn't fully grown individuals have learned the basics of cleanliness somewhere back in grade school?

And please remember that there are people with severe perfume allergies out there too. You don't have to drown yourself in the stuff. And also, if you're using it to cover up your lack of attention to hygiene, people can tell you haven't showered and your perfume is nothing but a smoke screen. Just saying.

On another related note, who is taking care of the personal hygiene of all the seldom appreciated, but highly valuable seniors who flock to the thrift stores on senior day? If I am to go by the horrific odor that smacked us in the face as we entered the building yesterday, the answer is very clearly, “no one.”

Now, call me crazy, but I figure if retirement homes can go to all the trouble of providing a bus to take these wonderful folks on outing, surely, they can also check to see that they have bathed prior to their trips.

It's not the senior's fault that some of them suffer from incontinence and/or have trouble getting in and out of the tub. But it is definitely under the description of senior care to make sure they are clean and wearing clean clothes, isn't it? Isn't this exactly what people working in nursing homes are paid to do? Why aren't they doing it? Their whole job is supposed to be about caring. They're even called caregivers. I just don't get it.

But it's not just the seniors is it? Seriously, the funk is everywhere. I'm assaulted with it daily. Just how can anyone feel good about themselves when they smell so bad? And how on earth, once you realize the odor is coming from you, can you continue to do absolutely nothing about it? I just don't understand. I also simply have no idea how to address someone with this issue in a polite manner, in order to protect myself from total sensory repulsion.

And yes, I am very sensitive to “bad” smells. But I'm pretty sure this bothers most “normal” people too. So please, you guys, take a moment each morning to wash your bod, change your clothes, brush your teeth, put on deodorant and comb your hair. If not for your sake, for everyone else's. Because pardon me for saying so, but you stink and you need to do something about it. You're losing friends.