How to survive a zombie apocalypse

Run! Nah, just kidding. Folks, here's the thing. The first step toward surviving an apocalypse of any kind is to see it coming. Yes? You have to know who the zombies are too, right? But what if the zombie is you? We are all zombies right now and I'm about to tell you why, as well as how to turn yourself back into a human again.

Think for yourself! Oh, you already do? Not so fast. Ponder your daily activities for just one moment. How many of the things you do were influenced or promoted by society, social media, for profit businesses, your government, etc. You might think just a few. And you might be wrong. Just saying. Because I'm a rebel from way back and even I am a victim of brainwashing at times.

If you haven't noticed, even your vote, the most sacred right you have, as a member of a “free” country is being manipulated for profit. It's all decided for you before you even step into the booth. Those in power know how to motivate you to vote for the candidate they want in office.

They're good at it. They have a lot of practice. They know your buttons well and they will push them until they get what they want. Fear, anger, outrage, protecting the innocent, etc. etc. It's all in their arsenal and they are not afraid to use it. They know who's going to win because they know how to make it happen.

My friends, we are all being duped. Every second of our lives. We worry constantly about being scammed but we are being scammed 24/7. Even people who think they're making the right choices fall for it. I see it every day.

Who do you think came up with the phrase, “shop till you drop?” Chances are, it was the people who benefit from the shopping. So, even what seems like an innocent, cutesy phrase/stereotype is actually programmed into us in order to generate a profit.

They even have us believing that sending our kids off to die in a war for profit is admirable. Did you hear me there? They have us convinced that it's OK, even noble, for our kids to die to line their pockets. What? Folks, fighting for freedom and justice is one thing, but seriously? Fighting for more weapons? Oil? Power? No.

But back to the subject at hand. Most of our impressions of what we're supposed to be and what's good for us actually started as campaigns to sell more products. We are bombarded with subliminal messages daily. Messages that are now so ingrained, we don't even notice them any more. But we do base our thought processes on them.

For instance:

Men are useless around the house. All they do is watch TV and drink beer. We have to buy lots of things for them because they would be lost in the store. They love beer, tools and porn. They dread shopping, except for beer, tools and porn. And we have to buy lots of things to make ourselves pretty so they don't buy the porn or cheat on us. They are just there to fix things. They have no other value. Bullshit!

Women are stupid about business. But at the same time, they can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. In other words, let's stick them with all the work. They are obsessed with wine and love to shop for clothes and shoes, especially shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. And women who don't shave/wax their personal parts for the men they love are just gross. And older women also need plastic surgery, wrinkle cream and when they start to gain weight (which is natural, by the way) there is always more surgery. Wouldn't want to be less than perfect, right? Bullshit!

Kids always have to have the latest in technology. They can't properly do their homework without a computer. They must have a cell phone so you can be sure they're safe. If you don't entertain them with expensive gifts and activities, you're a bad parent. Bullshit!

It's OK to buy things you don't need if they're on sale or you have a coupon. Bullshit!

When will it end?

Folks, you don't “need” anything but food, clothing, shelter, family and friends. And I'm talking about real food, you know, not the kind that comes in a box full of goodness knows what. Caffeine is not a nutritional necessity. It is, however, extremely addictive and profitable. So, hey, let's get people talking about how much they need it to survive the day. Then, they'll buy more and more and more.

We don't need fancy clothes and million dollar homes with bowling alleys and pools either. TV is not a necessity. Computers are not a necessity unless you use them to make a living. Wait. What? You see what is happening there? We are so accustomed to making money for others that we are becoming just as greedy ourselves. If it makes us money, it's OK.

And there you go. That is my zombie weakness, right there. Computer = writing = money.

Big business has us confusing our needs and wants. It's profitable for them to do so. And big pharm? They're selling us medicine we don't need, which is making us sicker and sicker because that's profitable too. And what's worse? They have our doctors convinced that we need it and are paying them to prescribe it to us.

And now, we have started selling people too. Yes? To the point where people talk about “branding” themselves for better sale value. You must look, talk and act according to the dictates and mandates of society in order to be salable.

And that is how zombies are born, ladies and gentleman.

If you really want to survive the zombie apocalypse, don't become a corporate owned zombie sell out. Just don't do it. Don't let them tell you how to feel or what you need. Don't buy what they're selling unless it's actually good for you or you actually need it. And when it comes to political matters, don't let them scare you into the lesser of two evils when there is a “no evil” option.

That's right, we would not have to settle for the lesser of two evils if we all voted for no evil. We actually do have the power. But they have us so scared that we just follow along with their game, dragging our swollen feet behind us and silently licking our gaping wounds. They even have us convinced that there are only two candidates worth considering. You know. The two from the political parties they have conveniently wrapped around their fingers?

And maybe you're OK with that. Maybe you enjoy being someone's puppet for profit or getting 80% of what you do need and having a whole bunch of crap you don't need cluttering up your house so someone else can get richer than they already are. If so, use your vote and your life to continue on with business as usual. Just don't tell me that I have to do the same.

Because I'm no zombie.