The last to be chosen

Here's something a little unique that I find myself being at peace with. But the most unique thing is the reason for my peace. You see, I never even wanted to be on the team in the first place. Any team. At all. Ever.

This is one of those cases where someone posts something I notice while scrolling through my Facebook page. This post was about adults taking responsibility for making sure kids aren't left out. I agree. However, I have to say, some kids don't want to be “in” and I was one of those kids.

I was picked last for teams too, but honestly, never been a team person anyway and I was out of my element when I belonged to groups. I just don't have that kind of mentality. Clubs and teams, church, whatever... It all feels too cult-ish for me. Some of us enjoy being left alone.

I thought being picked last was awful as a kid but I'm at peace with being left out now, at the age of 59. Wandering thought, I'm also at peace with being 59. In fact, I'm pretty much at peace with everything about myself. I don't overly dote on me, me, me. But I'm OK with me. I'm even OK with seeing my worst facial expressions and my fat arms in pictures.

Because, who cares? But more importantly, being that all star with the “perfect” figure and the “perfect” life just isn't who I am or even who I was, as a kid. I enjoyed reading for hours upon hours, just as much as those other kids enjoyed being prom king or queen, head cheerleader or whatever their deal was. My deal was being at peace, even then. And what brought me the most peace was just being myself.

As I got older and started working for a living, I was a hard worker, for sure. I was a worker bee. Yes, I got promotions. But, I never really fit in to the management mold. Because, once again, I always found it strange, the whole belonging to a team thing. It just didn't suit me. The money was nice, though. LOL Everyone needs money, right?

I've never been one to shop till I drop, either. I prefer a simple life. No fame and fortune. No glory guts. No party like a rock star. None of that appeals to me in the least. I was always meant to be exactly who I am. And not only am I OK with it, I love it!

Being OK with being chosen last is liberating. I don't have to dress to impress, shoot to thrill or any of what I feel is crazy nonsense. I take pride in who I am. I do the right thing. I excel at some things. I don't at others. And I have never been and never will be a superstar. Well, maybe I'm a superstar Grandma. LOL

And hey, if you're the type of person who enjoys being chosen first, good for you. Go for it. Personally, though, I enjoy fading into the background where it's quiet and the pressure is off. It's who I was meant to be and it just feels like the right fit.

At peace with being the underdog. No cape required.